FOLIO OLIO

About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

THURSDAY #3021

One Of My Very Own...


Traditional Mongolian Ethnic Music Group - "Khusugtun"
If I'm not mistaken, this is called throat singing.
And if it isn't it ought to be.



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Yesterday I had a dentist appointment and wore my Bubba Teeth.


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There are 492 billionaires on this planet and not one of those losers has decided to become Batman.


HUMANS INTERACTING WITH ANIMALS AND VISA VERSA

I'll let that one speak for itself, but it should be noted that this next one has been completely filleted.

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If my cat did this to me...
It would have bounced off at least two walls.

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A bunch of half naked people dumped blood over their heads to protest bull fighting in Spain.
I think we need a whole lot more of that...on multiple layers.

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We need a Silent Uber - Where you pay extra for the driver to keep his mouth shut.


THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SAY 
"OH, HELL NO!"

"Rednecks with Paychecks 2017 Barbie-Car Downhill Race."

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What's the takeaway on this?
Never angle the hole toward your fucking head, you moron.

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Soldier saved by bullet proof glass
How many times must that happen before it messes up you head?....Once.

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This leaves me....speechless...
I weep for the future...

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A young friend of mine was traveling through Atlanta and stopped for gas, which he paid for at the pump.
He then went inside for a Coke and the clerk said it was $1.19. My friend slid in two one-dollar bills and waited for his change which was not forthcoming. He asked where is change was and the clerk pointed to a small hand-printed sign taped to the glass just above eye-level. It read: We do not give change. My friend asked the clerk what would happen if he had given him a $5 bill. The clerk but shrugged.
I guess you can get away with that if you are behind bullet-proof glass.

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If you've ever wanted to slap someone who says "tarnation", then do I have a job for you.


PEOPLE PROBLEMS

Speaking of change...

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This happens far too frequently to be mere accidents.
I think we need a UN agency to investigate.

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Directions? I don't need no stinking directions.

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????

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This lady has a foolproof weapon in the battle of the sexes.
PS: Fuck this bitch.

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(I can't but nod)

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Once met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds weird dozen tit.


TECHNOLOGY

Apollo 17 and its destination captured in one photo.
What a marvelous image. 

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Not all home protection tools have to be high tech. That slide bolt lock on my hall door will create noise if an attempt to breach is made, plus giving me time to grab my pistol. Cost: $1.19.

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I believe that laughing is the most healthy exercise.


ADVICE YOU CAN TAKE OR LEAVE

Oh, that might be bullshit, but for decades I whistled on the way to teach children. 

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All I want to do is double my money.

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She meant polenta.

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I'll use that silliness to iterate my belief that we have so many people in prison not be cause we as a people are lawless, but that we are over-criminalized. 

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Houston, we have so many problems.


THINGS THAT PLEASE ME

Ran across this random jar of seashells...
There are at least three Holy Molies...two on the lower left; one at the very top.

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These two sets of figures are the same color.

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A repost to make a point...
It seems that the "tagging" and/or "bombing" spray painters are growing up. There is now record low costs of erasing it.
I only hope that they hone their skills for any upcoming uprising of quality art.
But then there's this...

"Artist."

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My first wife and I went to a marriage counselor in a desperate attempt to make it work. In one session I asked her what I thought was a very good question: What percentage of couples who you counsel end up happily married? She got all all huffy and said something like well they are past fixing by the time they come to me. I thanked her and walked out.

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"It IS a sports bra, damnit!"

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According to the manufacturer, Lego is both singular and plural....sort of like the word fish.


This is Recep Tayyip Erdo─čan.
He is more an asshole than Trump.
He demanded that "the internet" remove that picture. It was stated that it has been posted and forwarded so many times that it's the first image you see when you look him up.

Sound familiar?


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What if I am world famous but everyone pronounces my name wrong?

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It's a real pisser when comedians offer better advice than pundits.


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