FOLIO OLIO

About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

SUNDAY #3405

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

This church ain't fucking around on 4/20.

===0===

I've been putting these up by the dozen.

===0===

They have never, ever kept a single agreement, yet we seem to be rushing headlong into yet another one.

===0===


===0===


===0===



===0===






<>
Most of my friends are still in the "Early Life" part of their Wikipedia Page.

<>


KNOWLEDGE IS POWER

I love working with wood.
The most interesting part of that demonstration is the rectangular hole. It is made with a special drill that makes square holes.

Each corner of the business end has four sharp chisels. Using a drill press you gently but firmly send the drill down the hole, raise is up, then repeat until you are all the way through the wood.

This may explain better:

===0===


I taught with plenty of teachers who would swear that during a full moon the students behaved differently...ie, they went nuts.

I'm thinking one of two things: 
1: The children's parents had also told them it would happen and they were behaving up to expectations. Or...

2: The teachers subconsciously reacted differently to the children's behavior because of their own expectations.


===0===

Back a million years ago when aesthetics actually mattered.

===0===

This from South Carolina a while back...

Speaking of my home state, here's the yearlong weather in my city.

===0===

I had a young man express his faith in a higher power with knowledge of DNA.
He asserted that simple chemistry cannot explain how in the presence of the necessary ingredients that they would just form such a complex structure.
I countered that with enough time, it was a certainty, like water turning to a solid when cooled or to a gas when heated. DNA is just what happens when those ingredients are subjected to those conditions...given enough time.

By the way, this is what water molecules look like turning into ice.
And it doesn't require divine intervention.

===0===

I once wrote a novel in which an American lad married an Irish lass and he dressed for the traditional wedding. He mistaken wore the sporran (purse thing) like a fanny pack.

===0===

"Declining the breathalyzer in most states is an automatic failure." 
Would someone take the time to explain how that passes constitutional muster against self-incrimination?

===0===

"If these tits are legit, you must acquit."


===0===

Reminds me of the DNA argument.
Why would that string do that? Because that is what string does when rubbed like that.
(think DNA)

===0===

So, with no J, how did they come up with the month of July being named for Julius Caesar?

===0===


===0===

The Frost Fairs of River Thames

Between the 13th and the 19th centuries, the northern hemisphere was in the grip of a “Little Ice Age”. Temperatures dropped worldwide as summers became cold and wet while winters became colder, long and harsh. In the Swiss Alps, encroaching glaciers destroyed farmlands and villages. Canals and rivers in Great Britain and the Netherlands froze up frequently hampering navigation. Greenland was largely cut off by sea ice for three hundred years. With failing crops, many Norse colonies in Greenland starved to death and disappeared. While famine and death became common across Europe, people also started taking advantage of the cold weather. Frozen ponds and rivers became impromptu ice skating rinks, and outdoor winter sports became popular pastime activities.

This painting was made about the same time.
But today seldom does the Delaware River freeze over...or so I'm told.

===0===

Redneck Home Security
That shit works, Y'all.
I've been asked why I still have Beware Of Dog signs around my house. Same reason.

===0===

Probably a farmer's daughter.

===0===

This woman can hold an audience with a mere facial expression.


<>
Why is there a TV show to watch people pick a house? Why?

<>





EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED

A repost that piqued my interest in the unexpect.

===0===

Remember what I told you about how a sail the size of the side of that truck would push a rather large boat relatively fast.

===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===

Grandma rockin' out.
There is no way you younger viewers are going to understand this, but she has the same thoughts in her head now as she did at 20. That doesn't mean you can act on her "urges", but if she has lived her life well, she can remember the freaky shit she used to do, and that's almost as good.
Your "someday" is our "been there, done that."
Reminds me of people commenting to me about how funny and amazing my wife is at just about any social gathering, I always say, "You should have known her when she used to rock and roll."

===0===

Anybody want to try and explain this to me?

===0===

And as a grandfather, this kind of shit is my job.
But what the hell is on her head?!?

===0===

Can we safely assume it chewing the wasps up?

===0===

Scroll slowly...

===0===

Leave my friend alone.
Or leave my lunch alone.

===0===


===0===

Nothing is as sweet as a child's laughter.

===0===

I've never seen a bird with an expression on its face.
Hahahahahahahaha!

===0===

I wonder how many people will get that.

===0===

Hahahahahahahaha!

===0===

Juxtapose that with "Bomb the hell out of them."

===0===

How the hell did this happen?

===0===


===0===

"Is this the party to whom I am speaking?"

===0===

And lastly, my favorite.
That's the best recovery from anything that I've ever seen.


<>
The guy who would not admit being gay and dyslexia was in Daniel.

<>


BELIEVE IT OR NOT

Note: Waterford is the Irish Onion


===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===

A drunk guy made his own fleshlight.

===0===

This from an awful movie...
He just let the lighter...but the cigarette is already lit. How could no one catch that?

===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===

True.

===0===

Young shark is not amused...

===0===


===0===

GAME ON!!!


<>
Germany hasn't started a World War in almost 75 years.

<>


<>

===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===


===0===



===0===


===0===


Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive